Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Is it time to be an adult yet?

When, oh when, will I feel like an adult? I always thought it would hit me when I graduated from college and was living in the professional world. But somehow... no. Well then, I reasoned, surely when I get married, have a kid, have two kids, three. No, no, no and no.

Okay, I am now 47. I have three teenage children -- almost adults themselves. I am divorced, I work full time, and it is FINALLY starting to hit me. I am an adult! I am an adult with a house full of people who depend upon me. I pay my bills each month, shop around for good insurance rates. I am even refinancing my home & buying my ex-husband out. And I go to work every day because I HAVE TO. 

I think that last point is what's really doing it. Never before have I really HAD TO work, and now I clearly do. I think that sad truth is what is making me feel so ... adult. Sure, I know, I should be happy I have a job -- and I am. But they really want me to show up every day, huh? I will tell you people, retirement is not looking too shabby!

And if that isn't enough, my kids expect dinner ... every day! Can't they skip a day and eat twice as much the next day? And then I have to drive them places and go out again and pick them up places. What is happening to me? Where did all these commitments come from and how is it I have stepped into this role? It all creeped on on me so slowly and yet so suddenly. 

Truth be told, I am taking some measure of pride in my newfound adulthood. I am feeling, perhaps, more pulled together than I have ever have. But is it possible to feel pulled together and, yet, pulled in a million different directions at the same time? That would be me. 

This is a short blog because I am short on time. It's a grown up thing.