Alone.

It's my first weekend alone in ... I don't know how long ... and I don't even know what to do with myself!

I'm almost never alone in my house. Between my three teenage sons, (who are involved in so many activities,) my boyfriend -- even my ex-husband -- there are always peeps around. Truly, the planets MUST be aligned for me to be here, right now ... ALONE! 


And what should I do with this precious commodity they call time?! Should I watch House Hunters for the millionth time? Should I play Lexulous? Should I read my Hunger Games sequel? Should I paint my toe nails blue? Ohhh, the possibilities! Okay, if my boyfriend is reading this, (as I know that he will), he is probably getting a wee bit insulted right about now. But, really Leo, this is NOTHING personal!

He should remember that while I relish my time alone, it was just ten days ago that I was feeling sorta sad being alone. My sons and I went away to Jamaica to QUITE the family resort. It seemed to me that I was THE ONLY single parent there. Heck, I  admit it, I was feeling incredibly lonely! As far as my boys, they had bigger fish to fry. Sure, there was a stray married person that took pity and talked to me -- but mostly it was just moi!

Me 'n' the boys in Jamaica, mon!

Why is it that, while most of the time I am quite content being alone, in that situation I felt like a leper? I felt like I had a big L on my forehead. Maybe it was because I felt as though I was alone and on display. Because there were people there, strangers, to witness my loneliness. Perhaps my feelings were simply compounded by watching all those happy couples running around having fun.  But, no, I really did miss my boyfriend and I really did miss "us." The company, the conversation, the camaraderie, the affection.

Ironically, when I visited this same resort five years ago with my husband, I remember feeling lonely then too. While I was part of a couple, we really weren't all that connected. We just appeared to be the perfect couple. Maybe half the couples I saw last week were just like us and were wishing they were there alone. Perhaps they were looking at ME jealously! I mean, is it any better to be part of a couple, if you feel alone? I think not, (she says from experience).

So, on that note, I gotta go because I got a lot to do ... alone. And I have an important date to keep ... with me. As they say in Jamaica, everything's irie, mon!